Abhor or obey?

ABHOR

“That is an expression, Sir John,” said Marianne warmly, “which I particularly dislike. I abhor every common-place phrase by which wit is intended; and ‘setting one’s cap at a man,’ or ‘making a conquest,’ are the most odious of all. Their tendency is gross and illiberal; and if their construction could ever be deemed clever, time has long ago destroyed all its ingenuity.”Marianne Dashwood, Sense & Sensibilty, Chapter 9

Sweet censure indeed. Marianne speaks passionately in defense of her principles on courtship, though I fear that not many females of her day would embrace them so warmly.

Jane Austen herself knows too well the importance of a ‘getting’ a husband; – – it is the object since infancy of almost every Regency family that their daughters would marry and save themselves from spinsterhood, poverty and financial dependency.  By having Marianne speak out so ardently against the feminine devises used to entrap a husband, she sets her character at odds with society, and in so doing reveals her sensibility.

Marianne may abhor the common rites of courtship, but to survive, she will soon be bound to obey them.